I’ve been watching Superfruit videos ALL DAY! Scott and Mitch (from the acapella group Pentatonix) are actually the funniest people on the planet. Their “101 ways to ditch your friends” was the first video I saw of theirs and it made me laugh out loud (obnoxiously) at 2 a.m. in a quiet house full of sleeping family members. I have to admit, I’ve used each of the excuses they mentioned at least once in my life, but especially these ones: “I’m in Croatia.” “I found land elves in my backyard and I must map their territory.” “I have to recharge my crystals.”
Ann: You know, Olive is a cute name if it’s a girl. Chris: I prefer chickpea. Ann: Because it’s lower in sodium? Chis: Yes, exactly.
I like how in the comments someone put, “reverse this and a week after valentines day, teenagers tell their parents they are pregnant.”
Mom: “Today I’m going to pickle beets, then I’m going to the park to take photos of hummingbirds.”
“And people from my high school are getting engaged, to like, real people. Not like, oh I’m going to marry a Backstreet Boy, but actually progressing in life.”
Scene: Kristin and I enter Starbucks. We are in the middle of talking about how there is a Menchie’s across the street, how they’re overpriced and how (despite having to take out a loan to buy frozen yogurt) we still need to go one time. Both of us approach the counter with two fairly cute male baristas. Me: Hello! Starbucks man #1: Hi! What can I get for you today? Kristin: Can I get a grande pumpkin spice latte? Starbucks man #1: Sure! And you? Me: Same please! * Starbucks man #1 hands Kristin her latte * Me: I love the Fall time. Kristin: I know! I love how it already feels like Fall weather. Me: What’s the largest size you can get at Starbucks? Like, tri-venti? Can I ask for a barrel of pumpkin spice? They’re so good! Kristin: I think venti is the largest. * Starbucks man #2 hands me over two lattes * Me: Huh? Did you get yours already? Kristin: Yeah, I think they made a mistake. Me: Excuse me, who is …
If I were a cat, I’d be doing the exact same thing.