If I were a cat, I’d be doing the exact same thing.
“Jess, you have no chance of winning. It was my junior year of college. I was about 200 pounds heavier: freshmen 15, plus sophomore 50, plus junior 100…” – Schmidt
I had to share this photo with you ’cause it’s so gosh darn true. I had tears in my eyes from laughter.
Winston: Clearly I have the upper hand when it comes to Jackson Jess: Do you? Winston: Oh I do because I know all about sports, Jess, you know nothing about sports. Jess: Ugh, what am I going to do, I guess I’ll just have to use my eyes, hair, boobs, legs and adorable personality. Haha, fool. Winston: I got like, three of those things.
I’m pretty sure I have some solid abs after catching up on New Girl. Funniest show ever. “I’m 30, I’m single and I just started a new job. Tonight I used a bread roll to wipe butter off my face and then ate the bread roll. So I essentially used my face as a butter knife.” – Jess
Just 22 more days.
“According to the study, gaydar is 60 per cent accurate…60 per cent is nothing to be proud of, 60 per cent of the time I know which Olsen twin I’m talking to.” – Ellen Degeneres
Mom: I’m 50, I don’t care what people think of me. You young people care but us seniors, we don’t. The only thing we care about is being able to breathe.
Hilarious! Especially loved the boy at 1:26!
Ross: I’m sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan!
Can’t wait to be 4’9″ and 120 years young.