Winston: I’m going to go over there and I’m going to tell Daisy, listen, my heart is a two-man bike and I want you in the rear. What do you think? Nick: Winston, don’t say that! You want her in your rear? You can say rear, but not her in your rear. Schmidt: No, don’t say the rear at any time! Winston: You guys are just jealous. Nick: What? Winston: You guys are going to steal my swag. Schmidt: I don’t even know where to begin to steal a swag.
“Jess, you have no chance of winning. It was my junior year of college. I was about 200 pounds heavier: freshmen 15, plus sophomore 50, plus junior 100…” – Schmidt
Winston: Clearly I have the upper hand when it comes to Jackson Jess: Do you? Winston: Oh I do because I know all about sports, Jess, you know nothing about sports. Jess: Ugh, what am I going to do, I guess I’ll just have to use my eyes, hair, boobs, legs and adorable personality. Haha, fool. Winston: I got like, three of those things.
“If you tell anyone that we held hands I have two people in my phone who will kill you. Literally.”